As a life coach and spiritual mentor, I get these questions a lot:
“How do you heal from trauma?”
“Is healing from childhood trauma possible?”
“Will I be in therapy forever?”
“When will I be fully healed from my past trauma?”
Well, beautiful soul, I want you to know that I see you.
I acknowledge the pain you've carried throughout the years, carrying heavy secrets or feeling lost because your childhood was filled with so much sadness. I'm genuinely sorry that you had to endure such hurt. The weight you've been carrying doesn't define you, and it's okay to release it.
You don't have to bear this burden alone, and you certainly don't have to hold onto it any longer. Healing is not only possible; it's within your reach. The journey may be tender, but with each step, you are reclaiming a piece of yourself. You deserve the gentleness of self-compassion, the warmth of understanding, and the promise of a brighter, healed future.
But I must warn you, the healing journey is not easy. It requires your time and effort. It requires for you to dig deep and perform a reprogramming of the mind, body and soul. This often requires the tender touch of self-compassion and grace and a loving and safe space filled with supportive resources.
Here are 10 steps anyone can take in order to begin their journey to healing their childhood trauma or wounds. These 10 heartfelt exploratory steps, will help you gently unfold the layers of pain and darkness and give them the love and light those pieces of your soul deserve.
Step #1 - Embrace your story
Begin by acknowledging the chapters of your life story that hold the pain, the trauma and the dark childhood wounds. Take the time to journal the memories. This can be painful, so let the feelings come to the surface. Feel the feelings you were not allowed to express, validate your inner child’s emotions. Give them grace, give them the safe space to express their anger, bitterness, hatred, or sadness. No emotion is off the table. Once your inner child feels exhausted from letting it all out, give them and yourself grace and forgiveness. Remember you were just a child and it was not your fault. It’s a courageous act to recognize and honor all of your experiences.
Step # 2- Welcoming Professional Support
Consider inviting a compassionate guide into your healing journey. I tell all my friends and clients to start with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma recovery. Therapy doesn’t mean you are crazy, its actually the best thing for your healing journey. Going to therapy gives you the space to tell your story with no judgement. Some people will say, “well, I’ll just talk to my best friend or my mom” but you will soon find yourself holding back for fear of them judging you or gossiping about you. Trust me, go to a therapist and find one who has a nurturing presence. Make sure to interview your therapist, if you don’t feel safe. Don’t go back. Keep trying till you find the right one that can provide you with the tools and a safe space to navigate the depths of your emotions.
Step #3 - Illuminate Your Path with Knowledge
Illuminate your path with knowledge about trauma and the multiple ways it can affect us. Knowledge empowers you, so read books, watch YouTube videos and listen to podcast. This will help you understand what others have done and what might work for you. Helping you make choices that resonate with your healing journey.
Step #4: Extend Gentle Self-Compassion
Healing takes time and not every bit of advice you hear on a podcast or see on Youtube will work for you. Be your own gentle companion on this journey. Understand that healing is a process, and each step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your strength. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding on the days you feel like you are taking steps backwards. Take the time to be the loving parent or guardian your inner child deserved.
Step #5: Nourish Your Soul with Mindfulness
Infuse mindfulness practices and moments of serenity into your daily routine. Remember that you were most likely not taught how to handle your emotions. Learn to self regulate your negative emotions through embracing a meditation practice, or learning deep breathing, or take a walk in nature to cultivate inner peace and a sense of grounding in the present moment.
Step #6: Cultivate Nurturing Relationships
Surround yourself with people who love, respect and honor you. Your chosen family of friends, kindred spirits and those who understand your unique journey. Give energy to those who deserve your time and attention. Cultivate those beautiful friendships and relationships that nurture and support you, providing a sense of belonging and affirmation.
Step #7: Tenderly Set Boundaries
Learn the art of setting boundaries in all of your relationships. Including the one’s at work. If you suffered childhood trauma from a parent or guardian, most likely you are a people pleaser. Let boundaries serve as gentle protectors of your emotional well-being from those who are takers. Do not be afraid to say what you will and will not do. NO is a complete answer. And it's okay to say it every once and a while. Remember if someone asks you to do it, what is your intention behind your “Yes”? Is it because you want to do it or because you are afraid they will take away love or attention if you don’t do it. People who love and respect you will honor your boundaries, people who don’t…well, they may not deserve a spot in your life. Setting boundaries with people ensures you are surrounded by understanding, love and respect.
Step #8: Express Yourself Through Creativity
Unleash your inner child’s creativity as a form of self-expression. Remember all the times they were told “No, we can’t afford that” or “No, who do you think you are” or “No, you are not smart enough or talented enough” - Guess what? You are not a little kid anymore, you are the adult with adult money and you get to do whatever makes your soul sing. So get after it, engage in artistic pursuits, take up writing, or play that musical instrument, take those dance classes, take up gymnastics, join an adult soccer team. Go for a drive to see a National Park or go to Disneyland. Provide a gentle outlet for your inner child to thrive and feel those emotions of not having a normal childhood that may be difficult to put into words.
Step #9 Challenge Negative Thoughts with Love
The hardest part of the healing journey is that negative chatter in your brain. If you spent the first years of your life being filled with fear, anxiety, anger and hate than your brain is probably filled with negative programing, old ideologies, negative trapped emotions and/or abusive words or statements. Confront and challenge the negative beliefs and chatter with a compassionate heart. Utilize Emotion and Body Code to help find those negative trapped emotions and release them in order for you to fully heal. Emotion and Body code is an amazing healing modality can help reshape harmful thought patterns. As a double certified practitioner, I have seen amazing results with this technique and my clients walk away feeling lighter and free.
Lastly Step #10: Celebrate YOURSELF!
Not many people take the time to start the process of healing. By you even asking this question, you are far ahead of those walking wounded that keep repeating the cycle of abuse. Just by reading this blog, it shows that you are ready to break the cycle. You are ready to heal and move forward in life without the triggers, the baggage or the painful trauma. If you are a parent, even more kuddos to you! How remarkable are you to care and love your child(ren) so much that you want to take the time to begin your healing journey. Recognize and celebrate yourself for taking the first step in breaking the cycle.
Just a reminder my beautiful fearless soul, as you embark on this journey of healing, remember, healing is not a race; it's a long journey that unfolds with each step you take. Embrace the beauty of your resilience, and let the warm light of love and compassion guide you toward a future bathed in the beautiful light of your own inner child.